A Million Miles Away
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From the moment they are born, our children spend their lives preparing to fly away. In the nest they are nurtured and they learn, with every achievement and discovery, every encouraging hug and feisty squabble making their wings stronger. But when the nest finally goes quiet, nothing can quite prepare a parent for the bittersweet silence left behind.
By Carolyn Wolfrum
It seems that from the moment that your child is born, you spend their childhood giving them away to the world. My first memory of this was when we moved our then three month old daughter, Anne, from her bassinet in our room to her crib in her own room. The distance was only across the hallway, but to me it felt like a million miles. Pretty soon, I got used to it. It was of course the right thing for me to do as a parent. After all, she had to do it sometime! Better to do that before at least her early twenties! It’s funny. That initial change with my first one paved the way to make it easier to make the same move with our second child, Sawyer, a little easier.
Fast forward 18 years, Anne graduated from high school in 2023. She had initially wanted to start her college career in Wales. She had found Aberystwyth University there during her college search. A small school in Chambersburg Pennsylvania, named Wilson, ended up being the first choice for Anne. It worked out perfectly for her. She was far away enough from us that she truly had to “adult” while being close enough that we could easily have frequent communication. I had put Wales behind me. But I was to find out a couple years later that Anne had other ideas!
She called us in 2024 and let us know that she had grown out of all the classes available to her for her History major and that she was ready for Wales! We worked to get her ready for her junior and senior years at Aberystwyth. She made the trip, which as far as I was concerned, was the same distance she had traveled from her bassinet to her crib, a million miles away. After a wonderful first year, which included trips to Greece and Rome, she is getting ready for her senior year there.
Well now it’s time for my youngest, Sawyer, to leave the nest. Sawyer has decided to join his sister there this year. My husband, Ed, will take them both over in the next week. Before they leave, they will put a bracelet that I got on a trip there on my wrist so they will be with me in a tangible way always. And now, there’s that word. Empty nesters. You never think that’s going to happen to you and then five minutes flat after you have a baby, it does!
It’s already hitting me. I have made a couple trips to the store and it stops me in my tracks when I realize there are items I just don’t need to buy. Or when we have snippets of when the kids are gone and the house is crazy quiet. It’s a different kind of quiet. It’s the kind of quiet that comes when a presence is not in the house at the moment.
I’ll miss my kids, but love isn’t bound by geography. As I look at the bracelet on my wrist and wait for those first “proof of life” pictures to arrive, I remember the fantastic opportunities my kids will have! I know that there are so many good adventures and stories ahead for them. They may seem a million miles away, but we are always connected. I realize the nest isn’t truly empty – it is big enough to span the Atlantic, keeping them safe in my heart until they fly back home.
Carolyn Wolfrum has lived in Southern Gables since 2002 and works as an itinerant teacher of the Deaf for Jeffco Schools. When she isn’t training for the 100-mile Denver Century bike ride on September 26, you can find her gardening, running, reading, or traveling. Deeply involved in the community, Carolyn serves as Vice President of the West Metro Fire Protection Board and is a Neighborhood Association Board member. She also hosts the Southern Gables Book Club, which meets every other month. To join them for their December discussion of A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles, contact Carolyn (Area 2 Representative on our Contact Us page).
Theme photo from Aberystwyth University.
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